Here Are Some Fun Ways To Lose Money Betting On The World Cup

The FIFA World Cup is Earth's single greatest sporting event. It also happens to be Earth's best excuse to gamble at noon on a weekday for no reason passing degeneracy. And given that the World Cup is the rest of the world's Super Bowl, and any Super Bowl-level event is at its heart a chance to make very stupid prop bets on very stupid things, you'll be able to bet on every blessed thing in human existence over the next month, at least insofar as it relates to Wayne Rooney and his hairline.

The full range of betting options, naturally, spans the whole range of options. Whether you are looking to wager on the winner of the tournament, or which round exactly the English will inevitably explode into the South American air, or the brand of shirt the winner will be wearing, sports books the world over have got you covered. Here are some of the highlights.

Top Scorer

Always the most fun thing to wager on in the World Cup, the top scorer prop never fails to be thoroughly overwhelming in its number of players to choose from. While, realistically, there are only twenty or so players who will legitimately vie for this crown, this is a good chance to wishfully set a few bucks on fire betting on an American like Jozy Altidore at long odds. Or, you know, you could just go with Neymar like a wimp who hates America.

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Other players worth looking at here include Sergio Aguero at 10/1, Fred at 20/1, and Hulk at a 50/1 price. [Paddy Power]

USMNT Props

OK, maybe it's true that every team gets its own set of prop bets heading into group play, but fuck that—look at this shit! We're the stars! They're paying attention to us! USA USA USA!

And the best bet of the group is... Aw, man. Ladbrokes has the Yanks at +500 to receive zero points in Group G play, meaning you're getting $5 per dollar wagered on the USMNT to lose three straight times, and the USMNT is properly fucked anyway, so you might as well, maybe, consider it.

Other lines worth paying attention to for the Stars and Stripes, from Sportsbook.ag, include Clint Dempsey at +260 to lead the team in scoring, and over/unders of 2.5 goals scored and 5.5 goals conceded in group play, all of which illustrate just how little faith the world has in the United States in Brazil.

Group Props

The ripple effect from various injuries has shifted a number of lines in the weeks leading up to the World Cup, which must be kept in mind when making selections in the group stage.

One such example of this came when Colombian striker Radamel Falcao ruled himself out for the World Cup with a knee injury. Colombia were favorites to win Group C, with odds in the neighborhood of -125 prior to Falcao dropping out of consideration for inclusion in their squad.

Colombia currently sit at -105 to win the group over at Bovada which, depending on your opinion of the rest of the team, could be more valuable to bettors in the long run.

Also worth considering in the group stage are the following lines:

  • Ghana to finish second in Group G (7/2, Paddy Power)
  • Argentina and Bosnia to advance in Group F (7/5, Bovada)
  • Mario Balotelli to be top goalscorer in Group D (5/1, Ladbrokes)
  • Brazil to earn nine points in Group A play (EVEN, Bovada)

Novelty Props

Ah, here we go. Let's waste some money.

It certainly wouldn't be a good investment to bet on Ireland to participate as the tournament's 33rd team (400/1 odds at Paddy Power!), but hell, we aren't stopping you.

Will a Player Fail a Drug Test During the World Cup? Possibly. But at 6/1, the odds are worse than Luis Suarez outscoring the entire English side (7/2).

Here are some others from Paddy Power, including two that resemble the odds offered stateside on broadcasters during the Super Bowl each year.

  • Any English player to cry when eliminated (2/5)
  • A handball goal to be scored against England (50/1)
  • Any keeper to perform a scorpion kick (66/1)
  • Any player to receive two yellow cards, no red card in a match (100/1)
  • Rio Ferdinand to use the word "merked" on air as a BBC commentator (7/1)
  • Any BBC/ITV commentator to call Belgium a "dark horse" pre-match on June 12 (1/5)

There are many, many others, of course. Below you can find a spreadsheet with hundreds of props from Bovada, Paddy Power, Ladbrokes, and Sportsbook.ag. To navigate through the spreadsheet, use the tabs located at the bottom, and hover over the arrows in the bottom right corner to access additional tabs.